Sometimes, like now, I wonder why I bother.

Just let it be, right?

Hm.

Apparently it doesn't work both sides, if I'm reading the signs correctly.

I'd still get affected. I know I would. Why my emotions wouldn't leave me be, I don't know. And honestly? I'd rather do without them. With regard to this, at least.

Do I want to clarify? I would. But I don't feel like talking to anyone as of now. At this point in time. Especially.

Why do I bother? Why should I bother? In the big scheme of things, as compared to eternity, the amount of time is literally nothing. Be it half a month or half a decade, it wouldn't really matter. Eh?

Because seriously. This whole thing is stupid. Pride is stopping, I guess. I don't know. I could, but I don't know if I should. Scratch open the wound? The blood will flow, and who knows whether it would recover again. Ever.

***

I went to church yesterday, after claiming MCs and parental excuses for the past 3 weeks. It was good. It felt really good to be back with God. After being absent for so long.

And I sorted out a lot of things as well.

My mind was a lot clearer.

But... now? I dunno.

God, God, God. Only He can help now.

Much as I hate to say it?

"You are faithful; Your joy is my strength."