Before I went to sleep last night, I was reading something and chanced upon some words that gave me so many mixed feelings, I didn't know what to say. So I laughed, then I got pissed off, then it was all "You know what? Whatever."

Dance today was exhausting. As usual. I dunno, but I think I'm being too childish or something. Behaving as I did. Gosh. There was no call for that, really.

Something just happened which gave me pause. I'm wondering how long it has been already. It quite shocked me, yet - I don't know.

Perhaps it's the hardness, or perhaps it's the selfishness, or maybe - just maybe - it was the prayer. But there it was. Or rather, an absence of it. And I was honestly surprised.

Maybe I am ready.

But I don't know.

***

I've been thinking, lately. How I would have been if I'd been born rich. Like, really rich. Like, if my parents were in the upper-crust of society or something like that.

I think I'd be even more unbearable than I already am.

But I came to the conclusion that God would not put us in any position that we would no longer need Him.

Yeah.

I think I'm getting really, really tired now.

Dance practice ended late again... Gosh.

AND I have Dance tomorrow again, AND Saturday and - oh, and guess this! - SUNDAY. IMAGINE, HAVING A SUNDAY PRACTICE. I don't even think Band was that bad.

Ah well.

Rapture's in a week.

So...

PUSH ON, MAT!

Stay positive. Think positive ;)

(Then again, if I really am like that, why do I still behave in a manner as such?)

"Real, excellent wittiness does NOT repeat itself."