God.

I'm so confused now.

My mind is in so much turmoil now, I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't even know if what I've been doing is wrong, I don't even know if what I've been feeling - both ways - is right, and - God. I really don't know.

I have no idea what to do. There's near no one to talk to, no one who would understand, no one at all.

What am I griping about anyway. I should've been used to that feeling long ago.

Now this deep sense of loss permeates my whole being and my heart's feeling heavy. I don't know where to go, don't know who to run to. And God - I dunno.

Sometimes I really wish Jesus would quickly come, so that we can all go to Heaven and none of this rubbish will be existent anymore.

Either that, or I go to Heaven soon anyway.

How? How?

Sacrifices.

It feels like a piece of my heart's going to be cut out.

I wonder, did Abraham feel like that? Or did he know all along that God would provide?

I guess he knew. He had faith, and it was 'accounted to him for righteousness'.

Thank You, Lord, for reminding me to trust in You. To trust, COMPLETELY, for everything.

At least there's peace now. Knowing God would take care of everything.

"World, I'll see you in 3 weeks. And if you piss me off, just watch out."