So today was the last day of school.

Which was quite good - I studied quite a bit. Quite a lot, actually. More or less finished a whole Act from Antony & Cleopatra. Good, good - I'm on track, which is good. Satisfying.

And tomorrow is my last day as a Saint - officially, that is. And with it, one and a half years of SA. [Of course I'll be going back to school for lectures - which kinda defeats the purpose of this concept of 'study breaks', but whatever.]

And, this is also my last post.




GLINDA:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

GLINDA:
Because I knew you

BOTH:
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA:
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH:
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Duet)

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better

GLINDA:
And because I knew you

ELPHABA:
Because I knew you

BOTH:
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

I once wrote this song to you, and you told me not to be dramatic. But I don't think I was. I think I was being realistic - at that point of time, at least. And maybe it's true. Because no one knows what the future holds, and you probably don't know the plans I have for my life. But to me, I meant every single word.

Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like if we hadn't met. Maybe we'd both be happier, but maybe not. We'll never know. Perhaps the purpose I had in meeting you was done - and that's why there wasn't any need of me in your life anymore. Perhaps neither of us could have stopped it - maybe God planned it that way.

But if we always spend our lives thinking about the what-ifs, maybes and all, then we'd never move on and merely be spectators of our lives. And at the end, there'd probably be so many regrets that are derived from missing out on the present because of the constant contemplating of the could've-beens.

That said - I always respected your choice, and I always gave you room to choose, and I always tried not to manipulate your choice. I hope I succeeded in what I intended to do, in making everything fair, because I know I told you I'd never fight. And I didn't. Not because I couldn't, but because I believe love isn't something to be won in a battle. It's a choice, and you chose. So I really hope that you are happy with your choice - you believed it to be the best, and maybe it is.

But like I said, we'll never know the future. We might meet in this life - or we might not. So live out the fullest of your life, whether I'm in it or not. And God bless.

So like I said, I'm leaving this blog. Which will remain as the journey of my JC life. Ups and downs - more downs than ups in the 2nd year, clearly. Tomorrow, I will no longer be tied to any school.

Hurray for that, yeah!

Looking back - at everything I've done. I can't say I'm proud of all of them, but they are done. And I know this experience has made me grow. In so many ways.

But it's time to leave, and start it somewhere else. The A's aren't over yet - that I know. But my JC life is.

No more coming to school early in the morning, no more stuffy lecture theatres when the office-people forget to turn on the air-conditioning, no more boring teachers spewing out convoluted masses of words.

BUT!

The friends who were always there, the relationships built/destroyed, the people that helped/hindered me in my JC life - they'll still be there.

And maybe people are the only things that make school worth going for.

Apart from that other 'learning' deal, of course. [Of which we don't. Cos we just learn to 'cynically manipulate the system', as Calvin put it.]

So this is it.

No au revoir - that means we'll meet again - and no one knows about that.

How about a grand

SCHADENFREUDE!

Nah.

Auf wiedersehen! - in tune with the Sound of Music.

Go figure.

:d