As I was walking home today, reflecting on my life, I came to a realization.

It wasn't that I lacked any of it... No, that was actually sufficient, I guess. It was just the feeling of knowing - the security - of being one out of so many. That feeling was the one I wanted.

As I always have, since I was really young.

Prodigy.

And now, at this age, since I'm apparently not that, then I want something else - and I guess in some ways I feel that that can only be satisfied by attaining that.

Of course, now that I've fully analyzed that [as of now], I don't feel a desperate need to rush into it, to affirm myself or anything.

I know I'd be able to take it slowly...

***

On the other hand, I HAVE DANCE AT 7.30 TOMORROW. And I end at 3.30. So that's, like, 4 hours to kill. I know what I shall do, though ;)

Mm.

I'm really tired now, so I guess I'll be off.

"I'd rather deal with hard emotions than with soft emotions. It's easier, ironically."