So I did some evaluations of my feelings and emotions.

And I realized something.

All these blog posts about love and stuff - and I don't really have it.

I analyzed myself. And I realized, through it all, what I was concerned with was more with how I felt than how the other party felt.

Totally selfish of me, I know.

And what's worse is that it was all unconscious.

Only recently - recently! - have I realized that I actually felt like that. For the past year or so, I've been like that, I only knew it recently.

I'm sorry for that. I'm truly sorry for that. To you both. It might have looked like I was all self-sacrificial, but the truth is, I was only concerned with myself. I'm sorry.

God really showed that to me. And I guess, despite all that talk about love, I still don't really know what it is. I've never really felt that before.

I suppose I've never allowed myself to feel more love for someone else than for me. Even for God.

So it looks like I'm self-centred. BIG time.

AND I've got to work on that.

Thank You, Lord, for that grace that enabled my eyes to be open and really see what I've been missing out. And for the mercy to change.

I also realize that I haven't been walking with God all that strongly either. So many mistakes.

But time. That's one thing I know I have. In His time.

"QUICK! THINK OF SOMETHING WITTY TO SAY!" "HEY MATHEUS"

Thanks.