So, Perdana. Looks like one way or another, we've both become hardened cynics.
Heh.
Let it be, then.
I know I'm hardening up at an exponentially increasing rate, but I'm helpless to do anything but watch me just envelop myself until I'm seemingly fine. Then I'll probably implode.
Speaking of math terms, I thought of an mathematical analogy of God's love [Don't read if you're currently feeling stressed about Maths. Seriously.]
Take the equation: z + 1 - i ≤ z - 1 + i, and represent it graphically. Also, take that Re(z) is the other person's love for you and Im(z) is your love for the other person.
The point where the two points are equal is like the point where you love others as much as they love you - kind of like the start of a friendship, where the other person reciprocates as much as you. When the love of God overcomes you, you move into the region of z + 1 - i < z - 1 + i; however, the conditions for that first point is z > 0, which is to say that your love will always be positive, even though the other person's love for you is negative. God, however, is able to put the condition where Im(z) > ∞, and thus you can only ever love with God's love, although Re(z) may hit the negative regions of ∞.
Another point: Im(z) is a representation of something imaginary; know why? Cos to the world, the kind of love in which we love with is impossible, is imaginary, cannot/does not exist in the real world, and only in the theoretical state of mind.
So that was my graphical representation of God's love. On paper.
And it's possible to perform it. I know this, because I have done it before. But my emotions are kinda preventing me from doing so. This lackadaisical atttitude that has seized me; no longer Carpe Diem, it calls for Que Sera, Sera. And it's not good. It's really not.
If you would just allow me...!
I feel apprehensive about the future. It seems dark, now I think of it. Yeah, I'm more or less in control of my material life [schoolwork, CCAs, everything else intellectual, mechanical, and unnecessary for the soul] like I never have been before, and that's good, and thank God for that. But my spiritual side cries out to God every night for help, for love, for wisdom, for more of that unconditional love that will be able to sustain me.
Unconditional love.
Agape.
I need more of that.
Really.
"C'mon! What're you doing??? Who told you to sit around on the premises waiting for the promises??? Do you think they'll just come like that? They won't! God wants you to expect something from Him and go for it! So expect. Something. From. God."
Heh.
Let it be, then.
I know I'm hardening up at an exponentially increasing rate, but I'm helpless to do anything but watch me just envelop myself until I'm seemingly fine. Then I'll probably implode.
Speaking of math terms, I thought of an mathematical analogy of God's love [Don't read if you're currently feeling stressed about Maths. Seriously.]
Take the equation: z + 1 - i ≤ z - 1 + i, and represent it graphically. Also, take that Re(z) is the other person's love for you and Im(z) is your love for the other person.
The point where the two points are equal is like the point where you love others as much as they love you - kind of like the start of a friendship, where the other person reciprocates as much as you. When the love of God overcomes you, you move into the region of z + 1 - i < z - 1 + i; however, the conditions for that first point is z > 0, which is to say that your love will always be positive, even though the other person's love for you is negative. God, however, is able to put the condition where Im(z) > ∞, and thus you can only ever love with God's love, although Re(z) may hit the negative regions of ∞.
Another point: Im(z) is a representation of something imaginary; know why? Cos to the world, the kind of love in which we love with is impossible, is imaginary, cannot/does not exist in the real world, and only in the theoretical state of mind.
So that was my graphical representation of God's love. On paper.
And it's possible to perform it. I know this, because I have done it before. But my emotions are kinda preventing me from doing so. This lackadaisical atttitude that has seized me; no longer Carpe Diem, it calls for Que Sera, Sera. And it's not good. It's really not.
If you would just allow me...!
I feel apprehensive about the future. It seems dark, now I think of it. Yeah, I'm more or less in control of my material life [schoolwork, CCAs, everything else intellectual, mechanical, and unnecessary for the soul] like I never have been before, and that's good, and thank God for that. But my spiritual side cries out to God every night for help, for love, for wisdom, for more of that unconditional love that will be able to sustain me.
Unconditional love.
Agape.
I need more of that.
Really.
"C'mon! What're you doing??? Who told you to sit around on the premises waiting for the promises??? Do you think they'll just come like that? They won't! God wants you to expect something from Him and go for it! So expect. Something. From. God."
posted by Matheus at
7:22 AM
1 Comments:
Hey, Mat (:
Yeah, perhaps, it is the current circumstance that summons the cynics in us--thus I believe it is the amalgamation between nature and nurture that we both are highly cynical nowadays.
In any case, isn't it good to keep your bulwark, your rampart, high and impenetrable, at times? Haha.
Do take care and I hope you will get better soon.
God bless!
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