Grappling

Too tired.

Many things in my life seem to be falling apart. Right about now.

I don't know, I guess I've always been looking, but I never seem to find it. It's hard to recover that from my previous years. Where the dependency was quite large to the point of losing all worry. But now it's hard. There's a lot of uncertatinty, and you don't want to disturb or intrude.

I was just talking to Matthew on MSN, and I think I miss secondary school. Not my secondary school per se, but the freedom of a lot of things. Heck, I'd even trade my current 4 subjects for those 8 subjects I took! Wasn't this hard then.

But maybe God's just using this to mould my character. Could be. The reliance is increasing, which is good. But my mood swings back and forth.

Thinking too much leads to nothing really good.

In this state of a semi-blurred, confused, mind. It swirls round and round once more. It sucks, and I resist. Strongly. But the strength starts to wane.

Battles.