I don't need an alibi or for you to realize
The things we left unsaid
Are only taking space up in our head
Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
It does me up and down
It doesn't matter now

'Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don't need a reason not to care what you say
Or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don't, don't make sense

I think Khiu would get what this means. Sad as it may be.

I feel like that. I actually really want to feel like that. To just drop everything and just join in. All my years of practice in Secondary school would surely help here. Where every look, body movement, every word is delivered to sting and make it hurt so bad while you're safe in your security you've got one over the other especially when you see the other person's reactions to what your very calculated body language intended for. I really, really wanted to do that today. I think I almost did.

BUT. I can't. I just can't. I know that it would displease God, and everytime I think about it, Bible passages about love would swarm my head. I know I'm totally making myself out to be a saint here, but I'm not. I feel disgusted, I feel sick, I feel like this is going nowhere. I try, but there's nothing.

I thought it was all over. Apparently it isn't. Something new? Or something remnant? I really don't know. And this is just one thing I don't need right now, given the MSA that I have coming up in less than 24 hours.

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful
Your joy is my strength