And it's been a long time since I blogged.

But lately I've just been thinking about things and reflecting. Okay I always do that, but now somehow there's a certain peace when I think about these things.

I guess God has been showing me different aspects of Him over the years, and the most recent characteristic He's been revealing to me is of His faithfulness.

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful
Your joy is my strength

Then I think of times when I'M unfaithful to God, like doing things I know would displease Him, but doing it anyway because of stupid reasons, and how God would always, always let me come back to Him. And that's one of the biggest lessons I've learnt this year. To love even when you don't feel the love coming back. It's also one of the hardest lessons I've learnt.

Lord You are my guide
I rely on You
I put my hope in things not seen
Your promises all true

But I want to be faithful. To God, to my family, to my friends. To always be the one there for them whenever there's anything. Of course, you can't expect everyone to tell you everything, but I think it's good to just let them know that you're available if there's no one for them to talk to. It's really hard, especially when it seems like the other person isn't responding. But I still want to be that faithful friend.

Always You're with me
Your hand will lead me
My trust is in Your Name

People might consider that weak. But that's the world's point of view. I think God would consider it being meek and strong. And really, it's been hard. But knowing that God is with me and that ultimately, even if I don't see anything happening on earth, there will be a reward in Eternity.

***

These past two days have been sort of busy, hanging out with Khiu (and Jue Ying, at a much later time!) and Danielle, respectively. And there's been lots of talks about this and that. And somehow, at the end of the day, I'm just so thankful for where I am now. Because I somehow have this feeling that I'm exactly God would want me to be, doing exactly God wants me to do, being exactly who God wants me to be.

It seems like when I look back, everything I've ever been through, all the drama from Secondary school and even in Primary school has all been leading up to this point where God can use me. And I know that this stage where I'm at will also be a stepping stone to a higher place God will bring me to.

***

As I was walking along the road just now, I had this scary thought. I don't ever, ever, EVER want to reach a stage in my life where I say, "I used to be close to God. I don't know what happened." I really do NOT ever want to reach that point in life. It'll be horrible. And the thing is, I would always have the chance to step away from God. And I might. Anyone might. But I really, really hope that I would never ever say that, because I just want to grow stronger in God each day.