My life is going down the tubes.
God.
I don't know what's going on with me.
Finished my Lit paper today, was in a pretty good mood, then BAM! and all my good-moodiness just flew out of the window. And I ended up feeling lethargic and tired. Then someone had to come and say stupid things to piss me off.
Really made my day.
Thanks.
Then as I was walking home with Perdana, we were reviewing what we were going to get after our Block Test 1. Which was Selection Camp / LTC preparation [he's in the LTC Comm] followed by our MSA 2 which is about 5 weeks after our BT 1, and in between I have Selection Camp, then he has LTC after that, which is then followed by BT 2, then Prelims and A Levels. And in the midst of all that, the teachers have not finished teaching our syllabus, which means more lessons, more revisions of work that is still not fully understood, and I have my IS paper to do which would take up even more time, not to mention the Dance rehearsals that are sure to increase in number exponentially as Rapture draws near.
Screwed? Screwed.
On top of all of that I have to deal with people. Which I now consider one of the things I hate doing the most.
To answer SK's question, as of now, I think independence is the best thing that can happen to me. Right at this juncture. I don't want to be so involved with people and be so bothered by what people think - vanity, as Mary Bennett would say, is different from pride - and think to the point of paranoia. I just don't need that now.
You know, call me a Pharisee, but maybe Danielle has the right idea.
I'm sick and tired of feeling more than I ought - with regard to boundaries and parameters I set for myself - and for doing more than I should - again, with regard to boundaries and parameters placed by me. It's so draining, especially on the spirit.
Maybe I should try being totally independent [read: loner] and just not bother about anyone. Maybe just break off all connections with people and just focus on studying. Afterall, that's what's important, isn't it? Studying? And the A Levels? Never mind that people become zombies without emotions or feelings any longer. Just study. Get 4 A's for the A Levels.
Hurray.
God.
I don't know what's going on with me.
Finished my Lit paper today, was in a pretty good mood, then BAM! and all my good-moodiness just flew out of the window. And I ended up feeling lethargic and tired. Then someone had to come and say stupid things to piss me off.
Really made my day.
Thanks.
Then as I was walking home with Perdana, we were reviewing what we were going to get after our Block Test 1. Which was Selection Camp / LTC preparation [he's in the LTC Comm] followed by our MSA 2 which is about 5 weeks after our BT 1, and in between I have Selection Camp, then he has LTC after that, which is then followed by BT 2, then Prelims and A Levels. And in the midst of all that, the teachers have not finished teaching our syllabus, which means more lessons, more revisions of work that is still not fully understood, and I have my IS paper to do which would take up even more time, not to mention the Dance rehearsals that are sure to increase in number exponentially as Rapture draws near.
Screwed? Screwed.
On top of all of that I have to deal with people. Which I now consider one of the things I hate doing the most.
To answer SK's question, as of now, I think independence is the best thing that can happen to me. Right at this juncture. I don't want to be so involved with people and be so bothered by what people think - vanity, as Mary Bennett would say, is different from pride - and think to the point of paranoia. I just don't need that now.
You know, call me a Pharisee, but maybe Danielle has the right idea.
I'm sick and tired of feeling more than I ought - with regard to boundaries and parameters I set for myself - and for doing more than I should - again, with regard to boundaries and parameters placed by me. It's so draining, especially on the spirit.
Maybe I should try being totally independent [read: loner] and just not bother about anyone. Maybe just break off all connections with people and just focus on studying. Afterall, that's what's important, isn't it? Studying? And the A Levels? Never mind that people become zombies without emotions or feelings any longer. Just study. Get 4 A's for the A Levels.
Hurray.
posted by Matheus at
11:12 PM
1 Comments:
Whatever you said (sans the sarcasm) would be ideal if only it could be true. Haha.
But again, making friends who stay with you beyond the walls of these two years is also, part of the journey, you know? (:
Godspeed!
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