I took myself out of it.
I chose too.
Conscious decision.
Do I regret it?
Taking myself out of a definitive comfort zone and throwing myself headfirst into what I thought was a secure place. Though I'm not so sure about that now.
Do I regret it?
I guess not. I mean there are times where I feel like I could've if only I wanted to - but then I realize that I don't really want to. Not anymore. Not for a long time, actually.
It quite disgusts me, as a matter of fact. To sit and watch and just feel so grossed out. But then whenever I do I have to stop and compare myself. Do I do that sometimes? Do I feel like that?
Does it matter, even? I know I shouldn't be like that, cos I'm judging whenever I roll my eyes at that. I know I ought to have more love than that. God knows He's taught me that countless times.
It's just that I never thought I'd see you go down that path. Never thought it of you to be like that. And it's quite shocking. And to some extent, it saddens me.
You don't hurt me anymore. You haven't hurt me in a long time. I just feel sympathy for you. I just feel sad for you. That at this stage, just when you're going to finish it, you succumb.
Yes, it's true that we shouldn't listen to detractors sometimes. That what you do is your own business and no one should be bothering about it. But then again. Criticisms sometimes actually reveal some truths about you. More truth than you can ever think about unless you actually stop to observe the behaviours of the people around you.
Instead of just being in your own world to the point of exclusion, open your eyes once in a while and just see. See what has changed. See the actions of the world around that little bubble you've created just for yourself. See - is it everyone else who has changed, or is it just you.
But still. If you think you're going in the right direction, and at the end of the year, when school is over, when your JC life is said and done, if you look back, don't regret whatever you've done. Although in a way I wish you would lament over what you should have done and didn't do - at least you lose it here in JC instead of learning the lesson at a harder stage in your life later on.
God bless you. Really. Because at this stage, no one else would really care enough.
I chose too.
Conscious decision.
Do I regret it?
Taking myself out of a definitive comfort zone and throwing myself headfirst into what I thought was a secure place. Though I'm not so sure about that now.
Do I regret it?
I guess not. I mean there are times where I feel like I could've if only I wanted to - but then I realize that I don't really want to. Not anymore. Not for a long time, actually.
It quite disgusts me, as a matter of fact. To sit and watch and just feel so grossed out. But then whenever I do I have to stop and compare myself. Do I do that sometimes? Do I feel like that?
Does it matter, even? I know I shouldn't be like that, cos I'm judging whenever I roll my eyes at that. I know I ought to have more love than that. God knows He's taught me that countless times.
It's just that I never thought I'd see you go down that path. Never thought it of you to be like that. And it's quite shocking. And to some extent, it saddens me.
You don't hurt me anymore. You haven't hurt me in a long time. I just feel sympathy for you. I just feel sad for you. That at this stage, just when you're going to finish it, you succumb.
Yes, it's true that we shouldn't listen to detractors sometimes. That what you do is your own business and no one should be bothering about it. But then again. Criticisms sometimes actually reveal some truths about you. More truth than you can ever think about unless you actually stop to observe the behaviours of the people around you.
Instead of just being in your own world to the point of exclusion, open your eyes once in a while and just see. See what has changed. See the actions of the world around that little bubble you've created just for yourself. See - is it everyone else who has changed, or is it just you.
But still. If you think you're going in the right direction, and at the end of the year, when school is over, when your JC life is said and done, if you look back, don't regret whatever you've done. Although in a way I wish you would lament over what you should have done and didn't do - at least you lose it here in JC instead of learning the lesson at a harder stage in your life later on.
God bless you. Really. Because at this stage, no one else would really care enough.
posted by Matheus at
8:37 AM
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